As a boy born in the 80’s I am obviously a Transformers fan, we all are. So when Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg teamed up to release their first Transformers film in 2007 I rushed out to see it and was not disappointed. The 4 year old in me even sat through the sequel in 2009, despite it ruining the first due to its lack of storyline direction, embarrassing new characters and action scenes that were so headache inducing and hard to follow that you came out of the cinema feeling nauseous, not even Megan Fox’s looks could cover up her inability to act believably. I was optimistic though when the latest instalment was announced, mainly because the four year old in me is naïve and the adult in me is thick. So has Bay managed to improve on his last Transformers film?
Even the child in me knows that this was an extremely poor film.
This instalment centres on the final battle between the Autobots and Decepticons, as the villains try to rebuild their planet using us humans as slaves. Megan Fox has been replaced by English model and film debutant Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who manages to fill the role of unimaginably attractive love interest to Shia LaBeouf well. Just in case we forget, we are reminded throughout the entire film that Huntington-Whiteley is gorgeous with unnecessary, time filling, slow motion sequences that have no relevance to the film’s narrative. Don’t get me wrong the first couple were the highlights of the film, but after a while it became a little embarrassing.
The special effects are typical of any Michael Bay film, extremely well sequenced until something ridiculous happens and ruins the whole feel of the film. This moment comes in the form of a falling building sequence in which the battling humans slide and jump out of a skyscraper that is being torn down by a giant worm like robot. On a more positive note, the headache inducing fights between the robots had been made less haphazard and hard to follow. The acting is particularly poor, as is the cheesy attempts at comedy throughout the film. It almost seemed as though the cast wanted a quick pay check from a film franchise that will be well and truly dead after this travesty. Bay has already stated that this will be the last Transformers film that he will direct.
This has been incredibly hard to write as I had already decided to write a positive review of this film before I saw it, as I thought there would be no way I could bad mouth something that I have loved since being a child, regardless of how bad it actually was. I was so wrong. If you haven’t already been out to see Transformers: Dark of the Moon yet, I urge you, the child in me urges you, don’t waste your time or money.
4/10
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